Good News From The Doctor

I took Patrick to London this week to speak to a specialist about the possibility of autism or any other spectrum disorders. It was a long trip for both of us (3 hours one way) and the appt. itself was an 1.5 hours.

Now I want to get one thing straight though. When we started trying to get Patrick into a specialist, it was well over a year ago and he was displaying a lot more repetitive behaviours that had us worried. But over the past year, Patrick has come so far with the help of everyone around him. So far in fact that Deb and I had debated on cancelling the appointment. We decided though to carry through with it just to reaffirm our own suspicions and try to get an IEP (Individual Education Plan) for at school. Patrick may have some problems relating to kids in a social situation but he is VERY smart for his age and we worry about him getting bored in school.

When we arrived at the centre and were waiting in a waiting room, Patrick met and played with a little boy who had cerebral palsy (a mild form). Patrick was a bit hesistant at first but without any prompting, he introduced himself and started to play with the little boy. I seriously started questioning my decision to not cancel the appointment at that point again.

When the doctor took us back to the office, he struck up a conversation with Patrick right away and I just sat in the corner and watched. After some time had passed, the doctor started asking me a load of questions too and going over the various reports I had brought. By the end of the appointment, the doctor really couldn't label Patrick with anything. He said he could pick Patrick out in a group setting from the info we gave him, but speaking to him one on one... he just thought Patrick was a very bright little boy that may be gifted (there are formal tests to determine this but we'll wait a couple years for that).

The doctor didn't outright say he does NOT have autism or ADHD or a etc, but from everything he's seen, he couldn't in good concious put some sort of label on him.

This is exactly what Deb and I had thought AND what we were hoping for. The only downside is without some sort of label, it is very unlikely we will be able to get an IEP for our little man because our school board is stupid and requires it. So much for helping every child! We will continue to do our best to get him one though and help him at home develope his talents.

We are so proud of all our kids (except when they are misbehaving!). Some might question me putting this online for my kids to see one day but all our kids are special and to deny who they are and were is silly.

Memory Lane is no longer on the map...

I write this latest entry in a somewhat disheartened mood. I had created a second blog a little while ago chronicling the events of my life for the main purpose of showing my kids that their Father was young once too. It seemed like a good idea at the time and at first, digging through all those old memories and writing them down was a lot of fun. However, I’ve recently discovered that there was an inherent flaw in my plan. Memories of the past not only consist of the physical but also the emotions intertwined around the events as well. A good analogy would be a stroll down a street you grew up on in the middle of the day. The reactions and emotions would bond to everything you see, hear, smell and feel thus forming a memory. Now walk down that same street in the dark. It’s the same street. Nothing has physically changed but internally, you are perceiving things differently. Reality no longer matches the memory you have.

Now, I knew this when I started writing the blog. Nothing lasts forever and the only constant in life is change, but I didn’t realize how even the smallest of difference would effect me so much.

I recently decided I would take a trip to a couple of my old schools and homes when I was growing up. Grab some pictures for the blog later on so I could give a better visual to my descriptions. This innocent little venture shook me to my core. One of the schools I went to was in quite the disrepair with the playgrounds torn away, the grass overgrown and even the kindergarten play area paved over. I had heard earlier that it had become run down so I was somewhat prepared for it though.

The second school I went to however left me weak kneed. They had expanded the school and totally remapped the entire playground. My grade 7 class and science room had been turned into a computer lab while the library had been virtually gutted. These were two of my favourite rooms while attending the school. The only thing that made me smile was seeing a few of my favourite climbing trees in the back bush hadn’t changed at all (other then the fact they looked a little smaller!). But even this small victory of nostalgia was short lived when I realized the bike trails and paths intertwined throughout the small forest that I had frequented so much in my youth were overgrown and looked as if they had barely been used. This once again saddened me as the thought of such a wonderful place to play when I was a kid was barely being used today.

All in all, it was a fairly rough trip down memory lane. It was as if I were seeing two images overlaid on top of one another that were slightly different. As you can well imagine, it was rather disorienting. I almost decided not to use the pictures in my other blog as they no longer match exactly to the stories that I am telling, but after some more thought on the matter, have chosen to use them with some sort of disclaimer or a summary describing the difference. In this instance, something is better then nothing.

As for the sombre mood that has fallen upon me, I know it will pass. I make new memories that I cherish every day with my wife, kids, parents, siblings and friends. I know these memories too will one day leave me filled with a mix of joy for having lived them and remorse for not being able recapture them. It is somewhat of an ironic cycle where the cure for a longing to relive the past will one day turn into the very thing it helped stave off.

I suppose that’s life.

Can't sleep so started looking back

I can't sleep tonight. Sore back. Sore feet. Sore everything for some reason plus I still haven't gotten used to my CPAP mask. I've been up since about 1 and it's now nearly 4. I've been listening to William sleep (he's SO loud) over the monitor which got me into a nostalgia mood. I opened up Deb's blog on the kids and started at the oldest posts which was just before Kat was born. Looking at all the pictures of us and the kids growing up. It was like being struck with a 2x4 with "You're so damn lucky" etched into it :) Needless to say, there were a couple of tears at the memories and how the kids are growing so fast. I wouldn't change any of it :)

C-PAP machine

Well I'm slowly getting used to this CPAP machine. I've almost given up on the full mask because the seal is too hard to get AND I feel kinda claustrophobic in it. I'm also still getting wicked neck cramps and sore chest every morning. This is from me trying to get comfortable in the night (sore neck) and using muscles I haven't used before for breathing. I've been breathing shallow for the last unknown years while I sleep and now I'm deep breathing. It should pass in another week or so... I HOPE!

Ouch...

So I'm driving home today from Owen Sound. I've got my CPAP machine sitting next to me that I just picked up (It's a pressurized air unit to help me breath at night)and I decide to turn on the radio. "Fly" by Sugar Ray is on and I'm just loving it. Kinda zipping around on the highway to the beat of the music and remembering when the song first came out. I gotta say... I was feeling pretty good! That is until the song ended and the announcer said it was a part of the retro lineup. The song came out in 1997. I didn't quite understand where the retro thing came into play until I started doing the math. 13 FRIGGIN YEARS?!?!?!? WHAT THE HELL?!?!? I just remember when the song came out which couldn't be 13 FRIGGIN YEARS AGO!! I swear it was like I was walking on a bridge to the island of happiness and someone pulled the bloody keystone. *SPLASH* A swim in Reality River!

Then I started realizing where I was... driving in a dopey little Aveo where the only way I can pass a vehichle is while driving down a steep hill with a gale force wind at my back.

Then I started realizing what I was driving with... a machine that HELPS ME SLEEP... something I SHOULD be able to do without assistance and something I COULD do in my younger days.

All in all, reality gave me a swift kick to the boys and I'm feeling pretty sour right now. The only thing keeping me going is the thought that no matter how bad I feel, my mood can't change the laws of gravity so I KNOW they boys will drop back into place.

My Wonderful Wife

The household has a bit of a problem right now. You see our newest member of the family appears to have a very sensitive stomach and is forever fighting gas and cramps. Deb's cut out a LOT of her diet to try and manage it plus is scheduled for some blood work which will hopefully tell us exactly what foods are causing the problem. I know she's worried about a lot of things coming off her diet. She's already sleep deprived... cutting food out she loves to eat appears to be just rubbing salt in the wound! I know when she gets this list of food she can't eat, that should help William... but. Well there's here's the rub. What if it's a lot of things which restricts her diet so much that she can't eat anything she loves anymore? Or what if it doesn't work??? Plus I haven't the foggiest idea how long it will be before we get the results back? And not that I'm THAT helpful right now but I'm heading back to work in a few weeks so I'm sure I'll be even less helpful then!

I just want my wife to be happy the way she deserves to be. And right now, she isn't. She's exhausted and worried about the things she eats which could give William gas (and us even less sleep).

I'm just kinda blathering right now. It's 3:30 and i've been up for a couple hours with William. I've had to replace a soother and rock him 4 times while writing this post.

I do know one thing though... when William is no longer dependant on Deb be it because he's weaned off the boob or he is strictly formula, I've got to book Deb a weekend or something away!

I Love You Hun

So my little man Patrick is learning to swim! ACTUALLY swim! Not that phony balony swimming lessons we've signed him up for the last couple years where he blows bubbles in the water and hops around on the tot dock. It started with us getting him a face mask and a set of goggles. Once he found out he could go under water without water getting in his eyes, he was hooked! Now the problem is he doesn't like staying above water! We've had to sit him down a few times just to slow his breathing down! He'll go under the water and start kicking frantically with his back feet while jutting his arms out front. He's actually getting pretty good at it! Deb and I are seriously impressed.

In other news, this family has become hooked on Sponge Bob Squarepants! I've been downloading and burning them for the last few days. I must have a couple hundred episodes by now! I've started watching them at night after everyone has gone to bed. Gotta Love the Bob

It’s not irrational hatred when something is just so horrible

So here I am. I’ve just sent my two eldest to nap along with their mother who needs the rest. William is working on his opus using his flesh tuba (butt), cooing and grunting away while watching Spongebob Squarepants. And I’ve just sat down for a meal of slow leprechauns and potatoes (Irish stew) for lunch.

But I couldn’t eat peacefully while there is something that should… Neigh… MUST be said. Treehouses’ show “4 Square” is undoubtedly the worst show on television! This horrible little piece of distended rectum is based around 4 groups of no talent nobodies each doing some sort of skit. In no particular order of crappiness is the stupid teenage rappers with no rhythm, the French Canadian dancers in blue tights that can’t dance OR sing, a quartet of freaky looking acapella singers in dresses (one of which was a black guy who I suspect shaved his head and got a sex change operation mid way through the series) AND sing with even freakier looking hand puppets, and lastly is the chick who reads poems with a new 6 year old every week. The 6 year old usually having more talent.

UGH!!!... this show is just sooooooooooooooooooo bad!!!!! Everyone associated even remotely with the show should be fired!!... out of a canon… into the sun!

There… I’ve said my piece. Back to lunch.

Well we tried to get out and get away from all the negative energy in the house. Just hop in the van and GO!!

We were driving around for all of 20 minutes before Kat emptied her stomach effectively ending our hope of finding a little bit of sanity.

I guess when I think about it, sanity is highly over rated anyways.

When does lack of sleep translate the phrase "I'm stepping outside into the fresh air for a second" into "I'm stepping out onto the road for a second and wishing a large truck would finish me off". Well I think Deb and I are finding out. Well in honesty, we already knew because we've been at this point before. I remember vaguely of "joking" about veering into oncoming traffic on our trips to/from Orangeville.

We're never at each others throats more then when we are both tired. Eventually we build some sembelance of a truce on the foundation that it is all the kids fault. I know it's like building a skyscraper in the middle of a swamp but hey... it's a couple breaths of fresh air in the middle of a rotting forest. But like all great undertakings of the McLarens', it's doomed to failure. Eventually one of the kids will do something cute or selfless which defuses our anger at them. Then one of two things will happen. We get angry at each other again or we just collapse from exhaustion.

Where was I? I'm staring at the screen with absolutely no train of thought.

Oh wait... my state of blissful confusion was just shattered by the cries of a little monster.

This is the first time I've really gotten a chance to sit down and write anything since William Alan Ryker McLaren arrived on June 11th, 2010 at 8:27am weighing in at 8lbs 14oz and a length of 20.5"

The house has been pretty busy as we all try to slide into a new groove. My inlaws were up during the first 3 weeks to help out while I continued to work. Those were some pretty long nights. William seems to be a gassy lil man with a lot of stomach pain.

Patrick and Kathryn have been GREAT with him. Very curious, gentle and proud of their baby brother. When William is awake, it would appear he loves following their movements and when they talk to him!

As I write this, William is about 3 1/2 weeks old. I've started a 7 week parental leave to help out. Deb's recovery is going a lot slower this time and she still can barely do most tasks without the pain flaring up. It's driving her MAD not being able to do a lot of these things and to top it off, William is not being the greatest sleeper at night so she (and I think everyone else here) are getting a might be sleep deprived. To top things off, we have a suspicion that William may be lactose intolerant right now due to a nasty rash and the gas he's been having. With this in mind, Deb's cut out dairy from her diet and I just went and picked up Soy based formula for him. I really hope this works for the rash and gas issues!

Anywho... I'm tired.

Peace out ya'all!

FUTURAMA FOREVER!

I find as the day of Williams' birth draws near (only 4 days from now), I am contemplating how different each pregnancy was for me on an emotional level. Now like with every parent, there are those base worries like "Will my child be healthy?" and "When will it sleep through the night????". But along with those questions come others and those are the emotional ones that I find have really changed for me.

With Patrick, it was mainly the "What" questions like. "What do I do if he's crying?" and "What do I do if he's sick?" and "What do I DO?!?!" Never having been a parent before, very little can prepare you for being solely responsible for anothers' life! It was terrifying! But in the end... Deb and I both came through it and now have a terrific son whom we cherrish.

With Kathryn, the new question was "How". And foremost of these questions was "How do we Love another child as much as we Love the one we have right now?". That was such a scary question and it kept me up several nights while Deb was pregnant. But once again, things sorted themselves out rather quickly. I think it was feeling that first kick that cemented my feelings for Kat. Another "How" question though that scared me was "How are we going to divide our time so that both kids get the Love and attention they both want and deserve?". This worried both Deb and I so much it brought us to tears on some occasions. But like most things in nature, it sorted itself out on it's own. Deb and I purposefully make time for our kids on an individual basis but more so is the fact that our kids will tell us if they need more attention. Even before they could talk, you could see it in their eyes when they needed or wanted something. As a parent, we just had to learn to look. I Love them both so much.

And now for William. I must say, I think with this pregnancy, I've felt most calm. I know the basics already and am looking forward to seeing William grow and hit those milestones. I know without a doubt I will be able to Love him as much as my other two and have time for all his wants and needs without affecting the others. As I write this, I truly have no worries about what things will be like after he comes because I know... he'll have 2 fabulous older siblings to help teach him things and look out for him... and 2 adoring parents who Love each other immensely and will do their very best to show him what Love can really build...

A Family

Nothing is Easy!!

I should just accept it and move on. I'm a McLaren and with that title comes certain truths. One of the main being that NOTHING IS EASY!

For example... I got the kids climber for the backyard. It came in 5 big boxes and said it would take a couple people about 14 hours to assemble... it took my father and myself nearly a solid week!! One of the last steps (assembling the slide) took a day in itself!!! SO FRUSTRATING!!

And... while cleaning up my tools, I thought I would flick my brand new pool pump GFCI breaker to test the pump... and I blew an entire phase in my panel. A 5 second test cost me several more hours of trouble shooting (I did eventually get it fixed).

AND... speaking of electrical, I spent an entire day putting up new lights for around the pool. Had to string new cable and install junction boxes... flicked the breaker and hit the switch.... POP!! Blew the breaker. I've got a short SOMEWHERE in the 60' of cable, 2 junction boxes, 2 lights, and a switch. NO idea where. UGH!!

I can certainly see why people turn to drinking.

I got to see my third child!!

Deb had to go for another ultrasound since they had missed some pictures of Williams' heart in the original ultrasound. We weren't worried or anything. It just gave us another opportunity to see the little man! AND IT WAS GREAT! William was very active and we got to see him kick, move his arms around and practice breathing! It was so cool! We got some pictures of his face (and head of hair!). He's quite the chubby man! He's measuring at about 5lbs, 11oz. It made me feel so good seeing him again. The first time Deb had the ultrasound, I couldn't feel any movements but now you can see him kicking and punching through her shirt! That tied in with him looking like a normal cute little baby and BAM! Really hit home for me :)

In other news, I ordered the kids new climber for the backyard last week! It came on sale through toys'r'us and is being shipped as I write this! It is so friggin cool! I hope the kids Love it!! I'm going to have to start planning on how to level the backyard a bit in order to get the thing up. Maybe tonight after work. Although I should finish up some wiring in the shed first (Just installed a new breaker panel).

I think that's about it for me!!

Peace out Ya'all!

Well i'm home again with the after effects of another migraine. Lucky me. I wouldn't recommend it to anyone. I think this one was brought on by a weather change. A high pressure system is moving through which will be nice for the weather for the next week.

Anywho, as I was sitting in the kitchen nursing a cup of tea and looking out my backyard window. I just couldn't help but think how good life is (present pain excluded). I've got a terrific wife that is about to become a stay at home mom again. 2 amazing kids and a 3rd on the way whom I'd do anything for. A great house, great family, even great pets. I truly am a lucky guy. hmm.. I could also do without our backyard neighbors deck being so high and looking into our backyard. Oh well.

Deb, my parents and I took the kids to the maple syrup festival this past weekend. I think the kids had a blast. Both of them got to ride a pony and pet a bunch of farm animals. Plus Patrick got to ride some battery powered bike. I think he was more concerned with pushing the buttons on the console then actually riding the bike though! All in all, everyone had a really good time!

Man it has been soooooooooo long since I’ve written in here!! I’d apologize but it’s my blog and I’ll do what I please!!

Anyways… the problem with writing now is it has been so long that this entry will probably be huge… and will miss SO much because, well lets face it, my memory is horrible! I suppose I’ll try a different approach. I’m not going to do this chronologically but in little categories. Maybe it will help organize my thoughts??

FAMILY

My biggest news by far is that the McLaren clan will be expanding by 1 in the middle of June! So far the pregnancy has gone good (Well I think it has!). Deb is measuring a few weeks ahead but the ultrasound says she’s bang on for June 15th. We also got a peek at the little gaffer’s wedding tackle… It’s A Boy!! William Riker Alan will be his name! Have to keep up with the Star Trek theme and both Deb and I love the name  Kathryn is so cute because she is always talking to William or about him. “We have to get yogurt for William” or “We have to get diapers for William” or “I’m going to change and carry William around when he’s born”. She really can’t wait to be a big sister! Patrick on the other hand is a little more subdued but that’s really par for the course with him. He’s looking forward to having a little brother but he’s already done the older brother thing so it’s not as exciting for him!

Deb is doing quite well and is counting down the days until she is done work; probably about 8 as I am writing this but I could be off by a couple days. She has decided to take an early mat leave, then will probably quit her job and become a stay at home mom for the kids for the next several years. Her going back to work was kind of an experiment and now that she’s done both, she’s come to the decision that her and our family is best served with her running our household from home. I had left the decision totally up to her and would have supported her either way, but I think this was the decision I was hoping she would make  I Love her so much and just want her to be happy!

Patrick is doing great and is thriving in JK! Deb and I are always amazed with how quickly he can pick up the academic stuff! His reading and writing are incredible and we take turns reading each other stories at night! His social abilities are really coming along now and it’s great to watch him “pretend play” with Kathryn! His grammar and communication skills are also leaping ahead which I also attribute to JK. My only beef with him is he thinks he should be growing up a lot faster then he is!

Kathryn, our social princess, is also doing great! She’s still has another year to go before she enters the public school system but Deb and I both think she is probably ready now! She is basically running the daycare she goes to now and has about 6-8 “babies” she takes care of when she gets home! She is definitely “Mommies Girl” and helps run the household! I think she is going to miss going to the daycare when Deb becomes a stay at home mom again but only for about 2 seconds!

Branching outwards a little bit, my little sister had a beautiful little girl named Abigail and got married to her long time partner (boyfriend, fiancé, etc) James this past year. Abby is just now learning to stand and walk because she HATES being stationary. Just ask Boo and James about this because when Abby was super tiny, it seemed the only time she was happy was when she was in their arms and they were MOVING!

My Mom and Dad are also doing quite well. Mom is still working for Bruce Power but at a satellite office in Port Elgin so her commute is only a couple minutes. Granted she still has to put up with a lot of bullshit that Bruce Power seems to be a magnate for! Dad is enjoying retirement properly now that he quit that dinky little job at Walmart. He may go back one day but for now, it’s golf, golf and more golf when he isn’t picking up Patrick from school on Monday and Wednesdays (I don’t know who enjoys it more, Patrick or Grampy!)

That about does it for my side of the Family!

WORK

Work is work I suppose. I’m still of the mind that I’ve got a job and not a career. A career to me is some place you go and get paid for doing something you really enjoy. I don’t particularly enjoy my work but it pays the bills so I put up with it. I’ve recently completed my qualifications (took a few years longer then planned but oh well). With that came a bit of a pay bump which was nice. It also qualified me for becoming a UTL (essentially a work group supervisor) so I decided to go for that as well since it was an extra 12% pay raise which is all pensionable. That got processed rather quickly since I was essentially already doing the job for the last couple years. I’m still working the Monday to Thursday, 6:30-4:30 which is nice if not a bit early. But it gets me home in time to relax and make supper.

As I mentioned before, Deb is pretty well done work (work in which she gets paid anyways!) and will be a stay at home mom very shortly. She is really looking forward to it even though in a lot of ways, it’s more difficult. I think though we just look at it as work that’s outcome is a 100% towards our family and house.

MISCELLANEOUS

Big news on the misc. front is we just recently purchased a new vehicle. With William coming shortly, we wanted to upgrade our van with something a little bit more roomy with easier ability to move around seats. With this in mind, we traded in our Kia Sedona (which we love and will miss) with a 2010 Grand Dodge Caravan SE. We got a real good deal on it and signed up for a 7 year/80,000 km warranty plus a 5 year rust protection warranty. 80,000 km may not seem like much to most people but we’re trading in our 6 year old Sedona with less then 70,000 on it. We really don’t do a whole lot of travelling!

In other news, my project for this summer (or more likely spring) is to build a big play fort for the kids in our backyard. I’m planning to have it a couple levels with a sandbox, swings, stairs and a spiral slide coming off the side. I’m hoping I don’t go too overboard with it but who knows. We wanted something in the backyard in which the kids will have a blast and so that Deb wouldn’t have to be constantly going to a park with the kids while William was still so young. This way, we can stick to the backyard for this summer. I’m hoping to have it done at the end of May but time will tell!

Well… I think that’s about it for now! I’m sure I’ve forgotten about a thousand things but it happens. I’ll try not to leave this so long next time!