Time for a little update...

So it's been a VERY long time since I wrote in here. I apologize. Between home commitments and writing in my other blog (www.yougottabefriggingkiddingme.blogspot.com), I haven’t had a whole lot of time to update this one!

To start with, Patrick is doing awesome! He still has a hard time concentrating but he is learning to relate to other kids. His 6 year birthday is coming up and he wants to have it at the bowling alley. Deb and I are excited because we’ll get a first hand view of how he relates to other kids in his class! The other news with Patrick is he has grown fascinated with space and planets which is so cool! After reading all the books at school about the planets in the solar system, he has taken up reading my astronomy textbook from university as bedtime reading!

Our little princess Kathryn is doing great as well. She is so popular it’s scary! It seems like she is invited to a birthday party all the time! She has also taken on learning how to write her name in preparation for kindergarten next year. She’ll only be going half days next year but will be full day the year after. We’re not sure how she’ll like that though. She is a homebody and doesn’t even really care for going to day care 1 day a week!

William is now 10 months old! He’s grown so much!! He IS my little clone. Even strangers will point that out right away if we’re in the same room together. Willy is sitting up and pretty much mobile right now. He LOVES food, even though we still limit the diet because of a possible lactose/milk allergy. I’m amazed how quickly he picks up how to use different toys. It seems you can show him how a toy works once and he has it figured out!

After much debate, my awesome wife has put her papers in at work and chosen not to return after her mat leave is up. They did offer her one day a week but she decided it would just throw a kink into any travel plans or summer holidays for the kids. So she’s a fulltime stay at home ruler… I mean Mom  I personally couldn’t be happier with the decision but would have made either decision work.

Lastly, as for myself. I am still busy at work and about to get busier for the summer which kinda blows. On a couple good notes though, my workgroup has drawn the attention of several executive VP’s of the company and they have invited us for a lunch to discuss how we can implement our work standards throughout the company! ALSO, Deb and I have decided to take the kids to Disney World late in the year for the first time. It’s a bit early for William but Patrick and Kathryn are the perfect age. So that’s something to look forward to for the rest of the year 

Well I’m outta here! I update my Vein Popper blog much more then this one but I’ll try to update this one a bit more in the future.

Good News From The Doctor

I took Patrick to London this week to speak to a specialist about the possibility of autism or any other spectrum disorders. It was a long trip for both of us (3 hours one way) and the appt. itself was an 1.5 hours.

Now I want to get one thing straight though. When we started trying to get Patrick into a specialist, it was well over a year ago and he was displaying a lot more repetitive behaviours that had us worried. But over the past year, Patrick has come so far with the help of everyone around him. So far in fact that Deb and I had debated on cancelling the appointment. We decided though to carry through with it just to reaffirm our own suspicions and try to get an IEP (Individual Education Plan) for at school. Patrick may have some problems relating to kids in a social situation but he is VERY smart for his age and we worry about him getting bored in school.

When we arrived at the centre and were waiting in a waiting room, Patrick met and played with a little boy who had cerebral palsy (a mild form). Patrick was a bit hesistant at first but without any prompting, he introduced himself and started to play with the little boy. I seriously started questioning my decision to not cancel the appointment at that point again.

When the doctor took us back to the office, he struck up a conversation with Patrick right away and I just sat in the corner and watched. After some time had passed, the doctor started asking me a load of questions too and going over the various reports I had brought. By the end of the appointment, the doctor really couldn't label Patrick with anything. He said he could pick Patrick out in a group setting from the info we gave him, but speaking to him one on one... he just thought Patrick was a very bright little boy that may be gifted (there are formal tests to determine this but we'll wait a couple years for that).

The doctor didn't outright say he does NOT have autism or ADHD or a etc, but from everything he's seen, he couldn't in good concious put some sort of label on him.

This is exactly what Deb and I had thought AND what we were hoping for. The only downside is without some sort of label, it is very unlikely we will be able to get an IEP for our little man because our school board is stupid and requires it. So much for helping every child! We will continue to do our best to get him one though and help him at home develope his talents.

We are so proud of all our kids (except when they are misbehaving!). Some might question me putting this online for my kids to see one day but all our kids are special and to deny who they are and were is silly.

Memory Lane is no longer on the map...

I write this latest entry in a somewhat disheartened mood. I had created a second blog a little while ago chronicling the events of my life for the main purpose of showing my kids that their Father was young once too. It seemed like a good idea at the time and at first, digging through all those old memories and writing them down was a lot of fun. However, I’ve recently discovered that there was an inherent flaw in my plan. Memories of the past not only consist of the physical but also the emotions intertwined around the events as well. A good analogy would be a stroll down a street you grew up on in the middle of the day. The reactions and emotions would bond to everything you see, hear, smell and feel thus forming a memory. Now walk down that same street in the dark. It’s the same street. Nothing has physically changed but internally, you are perceiving things differently. Reality no longer matches the memory you have.

Now, I knew this when I started writing the blog. Nothing lasts forever and the only constant in life is change, but I didn’t realize how even the smallest of difference would effect me so much.

I recently decided I would take a trip to a couple of my old schools and homes when I was growing up. Grab some pictures for the blog later on so I could give a better visual to my descriptions. This innocent little venture shook me to my core. One of the schools I went to was in quite the disrepair with the playgrounds torn away, the grass overgrown and even the kindergarten play area paved over. I had heard earlier that it had become run down so I was somewhat prepared for it though.

The second school I went to however left me weak kneed. They had expanded the school and totally remapped the entire playground. My grade 7 class and science room had been turned into a computer lab while the library had been virtually gutted. These were two of my favourite rooms while attending the school. The only thing that made me smile was seeing a few of my favourite climbing trees in the back bush hadn’t changed at all (other then the fact they looked a little smaller!). But even this small victory of nostalgia was short lived when I realized the bike trails and paths intertwined throughout the small forest that I had frequented so much in my youth were overgrown and looked as if they had barely been used. This once again saddened me as the thought of such a wonderful place to play when I was a kid was barely being used today.

All in all, it was a fairly rough trip down memory lane. It was as if I were seeing two images overlaid on top of one another that were slightly different. As you can well imagine, it was rather disorienting. I almost decided not to use the pictures in my other blog as they no longer match exactly to the stories that I am telling, but after some more thought on the matter, have chosen to use them with some sort of disclaimer or a summary describing the difference. In this instance, something is better then nothing.

As for the sombre mood that has fallen upon me, I know it will pass. I make new memories that I cherish every day with my wife, kids, parents, siblings and friends. I know these memories too will one day leave me filled with a mix of joy for having lived them and remorse for not being able recapture them. It is somewhat of an ironic cycle where the cure for a longing to relive the past will one day turn into the very thing it helped stave off.

I suppose that’s life.

Can't sleep so started looking back

I can't sleep tonight. Sore back. Sore feet. Sore everything for some reason plus I still haven't gotten used to my CPAP mask. I've been up since about 1 and it's now nearly 4. I've been listening to William sleep (he's SO loud) over the monitor which got me into a nostalgia mood. I opened up Deb's blog on the kids and started at the oldest posts which was just before Kat was born. Looking at all the pictures of us and the kids growing up. It was like being struck with a 2x4 with "You're so damn lucky" etched into it :) Needless to say, there were a couple of tears at the memories and how the kids are growing so fast. I wouldn't change any of it :)

C-PAP machine

Well I'm slowly getting used to this CPAP machine. I've almost given up on the full mask because the seal is too hard to get AND I feel kinda claustrophobic in it. I'm also still getting wicked neck cramps and sore chest every morning. This is from me trying to get comfortable in the night (sore neck) and using muscles I haven't used before for breathing. I've been breathing shallow for the last unknown years while I sleep and now I'm deep breathing. It should pass in another week or so... I HOPE!

Ouch...

So I'm driving home today from Owen Sound. I've got my CPAP machine sitting next to me that I just picked up (It's a pressurized air unit to help me breath at night)and I decide to turn on the radio. "Fly" by Sugar Ray is on and I'm just loving it. Kinda zipping around on the highway to the beat of the music and remembering when the song first came out. I gotta say... I was feeling pretty good! That is until the song ended and the announcer said it was a part of the retro lineup. The song came out in 1997. I didn't quite understand where the retro thing came into play until I started doing the math. 13 FRIGGIN YEARS?!?!?!? WHAT THE HELL?!?!? I just remember when the song came out which couldn't be 13 FRIGGIN YEARS AGO!! I swear it was like I was walking on a bridge to the island of happiness and someone pulled the bloody keystone. *SPLASH* A swim in Reality River!

Then I started realizing where I was... driving in a dopey little Aveo where the only way I can pass a vehichle is while driving down a steep hill with a gale force wind at my back.

Then I started realizing what I was driving with... a machine that HELPS ME SLEEP... something I SHOULD be able to do without assistance and something I COULD do in my younger days.

All in all, reality gave me a swift kick to the boys and I'm feeling pretty sour right now. The only thing keeping me going is the thought that no matter how bad I feel, my mood can't change the laws of gravity so I KNOW they boys will drop back into place.

My Wonderful Wife

The household has a bit of a problem right now. You see our newest member of the family appears to have a very sensitive stomach and is forever fighting gas and cramps. Deb's cut out a LOT of her diet to try and manage it plus is scheduled for some blood work which will hopefully tell us exactly what foods are causing the problem. I know she's worried about a lot of things coming off her diet. She's already sleep deprived... cutting food out she loves to eat appears to be just rubbing salt in the wound! I know when she gets this list of food she can't eat, that should help William... but. Well there's here's the rub. What if it's a lot of things which restricts her diet so much that she can't eat anything she loves anymore? Or what if it doesn't work??? Plus I haven't the foggiest idea how long it will be before we get the results back? And not that I'm THAT helpful right now but I'm heading back to work in a few weeks so I'm sure I'll be even less helpful then!

I just want my wife to be happy the way she deserves to be. And right now, she isn't. She's exhausted and worried about the things she eats which could give William gas (and us even less sleep).

I'm just kinda blathering right now. It's 3:30 and i've been up for a couple hours with William. I've had to replace a soother and rock him 4 times while writing this post.

I do know one thing though... when William is no longer dependant on Deb be it because he's weaned off the boob or he is strictly formula, I've got to book Deb a weekend or something away!

I Love You Hun